Thursday, June 25, 2009

It's not easy being green. Trust me.

Jealousy is a funny thing. I used to find myself consumed by it - especially when I worked across the hall from a beautiful, young, and extremely popular teacher (who, ironically enough, was one of my closest friends). I hated not being as thin or as pretty as ... well, any girl I saw. Hated it. Fussed and fretted and frazzled myself.

Then I truly realized that it was not only consuming me, this awful bitter feeling, but it was pruning me from the inside out. I was most absolutely wrinkling and shriveling up - someone was going to, in the not too distant future, roll me in salt and stick me in half a lemon.

So I quit.

I realized that no matter what, I was going to be jealous of my husband's ex-wife, that she got to have a son with him, got to have the white wedding, got to have his untarnished first love. I was going to be jealous of gorgeous women with loooong legs and un-frizzy, tangle-free hair, and perfect skin.

So I turned it into motivation instead. I won't have legs nine miles long, but I can have cut calves and firm thighs from hiking through my woods. I find myself looking lovingly, longingly, at the horse farms we drive by. I know that it's out of the question with my salary, but I have been working overtime to save up for a horse.

I refuse to turn into that horrible person we all know - the one who turns every single thing into a complaint, a slight, an issue. Ugh, that person is at every faculty function, at every family picnic, at every damn PTA meeting. Not this chick, no way.

Although I am jealous that my post is not as high up on the list as everyone else's at Sprite's Keeper. I'll bet they're all prettier than me, too.


C.G. the Foodie said...

Great post. I can definitely relate to some of these scenarios!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Such a great Spin!
This guy I was dating back in the 90's dumped me for another Jennifer and she was prettier, thinner, and had HIM, so I was damn jealous for a few months before he cheated on her with me and I realized I was being stupid for falling so hard for him and he was just stupid.
You're linked!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Great spin. It is a constant vigile to look at the glass half full somedays.

Anonymous said...

No, I totally know what you're saying. It IS consuming, and it's not good for any of us. If only it weren't so hard to get rid of... Thanks for a good spin!

Mama Badger said...

You're good enough, you're smart enough and Gosh darnit, people like you! There will always be the girl next door, that is just that much prettier, smarter and gets the cuter boy. You just have to keep in mind that she has her demons, too. We all do. Great spin.

Anonymous said...

I think that's awesome! There will always be someone thinner, taller, or otherwise perfect-er then we are. The best thing to do is exactly what you said: make it a motivation to become the best YOU you can be.

I will remember your spin and try to apply it more often!!